Outsider
by lightspiritwalker
Summary: Joanna doesn't want to die but she can't work out how to live either. She feels like the odd man out amongst the group she survives with as she isn't bound by blood or love & she didn't know them 'before' while Nick is becoming more & more detached from his family. Joanna represents to him the chance to escape.
1. - the house with the white porch

**\- the house with the white porch**

 _Hot summer nights, mid July_  
 _When you and I were forever wild_

Joanna stood on the porch, a cool breeze blowing her lank brown hair into her eyes. She brushed the strands away, still getting used to how light her head felt now since she'd hacked her once waist long hair after a near death experience where a dead one had grabbed it and almost eaten her face off. The uneven strands now brushed just above her shoulders. Joanna used to be obsessed with how many likes her latest selfie had gained on her Instagram and refused to leave the house without a face of make up, now she was picking dried blood from under her nails on a daily basis and smelled of stale sweat. The white paint on the porch balcony was chipped and had seen better days as she ran her hand across the rough wood. _We've all seen better days_ Joanna thought as she looked across the neighborhood. It should have been filled with the sounds of children playing and lawn sprinklers, instead the smell of decay hung in the air. Probably due to the rotting body lying on the front lawn across the street. Every garage door on the block had been left open where people had just packed up in their cars and left. Joanna had tried not to look at the photographs on the wall that belonged to the family that had lived in the house her group had broken into. They had found a dead cat in one of the upstairs bedrooms and the bones of two budgies still locked in their cage. The sight had upset Joanna, bringing back memories of what happened to her dog, Jedediah. When the petrol ran out and her family had been forced to travel by foot, Joanna's dad had made the decision to put Jed down. He said it was kinder this way, that Jed would've either slowly starved to death or been hunted by the other people for food. She'd wanted to bury the cat but Madison had told her to grow up and that if she wanted to do something useful, to help look for food, water and medication, all in that order. Joanna had stormed out, like a petulant child rather than a twenty two year old woman and instantly regretted it as it just gave Madison ammunition to use against her in future. _You need to speak to people, you can't just shut the world out, we all care for you, I'm here for you, you are not alone._ That last one was Madison's favourite phrase, she'd said it enough times to Nick and Alicia.

"Hey, it's just me - " Nick opened the screen door ajar and she chewed on the inside of her cheek as she met his wide eyed stare. " - I just wanted see if you were okay - "

"You mean your mom sent you to check up on me" Joanna said with an edge in her tone.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger" Nick raised his hands. "Okay, you're right, she did ask me to check what you were doin', should I jus' tell her you're hangin' out on this shitty porch enjoying the view?" he stifled a laugh as he nodded towards the corpse.

"You're unhinged you know that" Joanna shook her head as she turned fully to face him. "Twisted and unhinged."

"So you do find me sexy" Nick smirked at her just as Travis came out behind him.

"Nick, go inside" Travis said and Joanna saw Nick freeze as he mouthed the word 'shit' before slowly turning around.

"Whatever you just heard - "

"Nick, please, just go inside" the older man rubbed a hand over his face, tired and sore from constantly being on the move and barely sleeping. Nick looked back at Joanna and shrugged his shoulders before leaving her alone with Travis. "Joanna, you can't talk to Madison like that - "

"I wanted to bury the cat. I wasn't asking Madison to do it. I have my own reasons – "

"Like what?" he lost his cool and he saw Joanna's dark eyes grow wide. "Look kid, I didn't mean to snap at you, I get that it's tough, you were on your own when we found you and you probably feel like the odd man out half the time but we are all in this together. Just because we didn't know you before, doesn't make you the black sheep." Joanna didn't say a word as she stared down at the floorboards, feeling very vulnerable then and she knew Travis could see it. "If you don't want to talk to me, do me a favour and talk to Nick. Underneath all his bravado and bullshit, he's a good guy."


	2. - closer

**\- closer**

"You okay?" Nick asked as he slowly closed the door and he felt his heart sink a little as a frown crossed Joanna's features in the soft candelight. "Alright, you don't need to say it, I get it, you're sick of people askin' if you're okay" his voice took on a harder edge and he sat down, his head and back resting against the wall as he examined the palms of his hands.

"I'm not okay" she said quietly.

"What?" Nick blinked in surprise as he looked at her, the overbear tree outside casting an ominous shadow on the curtain behind her, like a scraggly arm about to reach in.

"I said that I'm not okay, christ did you not hear me the first time?" Joanna said irritably, feeling like this was now a mistake following Travis' advice.

"I heard what you said – " Nick scooted over beside her. " – I just didn't figure you'd actually say it. You wanna talk about it?"

"No" she shook her head, her dark hair falling over her face.

"Hey" Nick leaned in. "You can talk to me. I'm serious." There was a few moments of silence and he watched closely as she fiddled with her hands before speaking.

"I feel – I feel like there's no point anymore, to anything I mean, it's not that I want to kill myself or anything, it's jus' being alive right now just doesn't seem – " her voice trailed off and she looked into the candle, her eyes glazing over. " – I don't even know what I'm saying."

"Yeah you do" Nick cut in quickly, his tone softer. "What you said, I get it, I do. You know what I tell myself?"

"What?"

" _I will survive_ " he sang in a high pitched voice and his unexpected response made her suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. It felt good to laugh, the tension between her shoulderblades eased and she forgot about that sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach for a moment.

"You like my Gloria Gaynor impression then?" he shouldered her gently and she playfully raised her hand to slap him across the back of the head.

"You're an idiot" she grinned and he ducked, both of them giggling as he caught her hand instead. The laughter ceased and was replaced with silence as Nick thread his fingers threw hers. Joanna felt her heart skip a beat as his eyes searched hers, then he leant in to kiss her. She froze for a moment, his lips rough as they brushed hers, his tongue pushing into her mouth and she surrendered herself to him then as she let him in. Nick's kisses grew more hungry as he pushed her onto her back and she felt her breath catch as his hands reached under her tank top. _It was all moving too fast "_ Nick - " she said as his lips moved to her neck.

"Nick!" Madison's shouts drowned out what Joanna was about to say and Nick sat back, closing his eyes, frustration building in him. "Nick, where are you?"

"Not now" he muttered to himself and Joanna watched as he climbed onto his feet, both fists clenched as the door was thrown open.

"Why was the door shut?" Madison asked, suspicion laced in her voice as she met Nick's glare. "You know what? it doesn't matter, we need to leave – "

"What?" Joanna climbed onto trembling legs, her heart still racing as she tugged at her tank top.

"Come on, we need to go now" Madison repeated as she came around and grabbed Joanna by the forearm.

"Why? Why do we have to leave right this second?" Nick snapped, trying to shake off the hardness in his groin area.

"Because we do! Don't argue with me Nick!" Madison raised her voice and Nick shook his head, suddenly reaching over and grabbing Joanna's hand. Madison held her breath, her suspicions confirmed that something was going on between her son and Joanna, something she was not thrilled about.

"Come on Nick!" Travis was waiting at the back door and Joanna could hear the engine to their people carrier running outside.

"Don't even start with me Travis" Nick pushed past him, Joanna casting Travis a sympathetic look as Madison stalked down the steps. Nick pulled open the back door to the people carrier, bundling Joanna into the vehicle first before following.

"What's goin' on?" Nick asked Alicia who was seated in the middle and watching them from the back of her seat.

"There's a herd comin' this way, mom could hear them."

"Why are we leaving then? Why wouldn't we jus' stay inside and hide? I mean what if we run out of gas?" Nick raised his concerns.

"We won't" Travis cut in as he climbed into the drivers seat, Madison climbing in beside him. "Everyone get their seat belts on!"

"Are you serious?" Alicia eyeballed him but the look he gave her made her buckle in. Joanna gripped onto the back of the seat infront of her as Travis pulled the car around and swerved onto the road, knocking over an overflowing bin filled with garden waste. She felt terror grip every fibre of her being as she looked out the window as they pulled onto the main road and she saw them. The dead. Moving as one, unstoppable force. "Hold on!" Travis put his foot down and they sped forward, Nick's hand suddenly grasping hers and she squeezed tightly in return as they left the house with the white porch to survive another day.


End file.
